Bill Bailey - Part Troll.

Live at the Grand Opera House, York.

He tells but three jokes. And states this at the beginning of his show, but its not the jokes or even the excessive hair that makes this man funny. In fact, I’m not sure what it is that makes him funny. But funny he is.
He starts with grand philosophies on the expansion and development of the universe, before re-assuring the crowd that he is Bill Bailey, not a roadie who’s a bit up himself. Of course, most people will have guessed that Bill Bailey smokes marijuana, he enthuses on its benefits and claims those who point at drug problems are merely scare-mongering - “It hasn’t turned me into a wandering, bug-eyed druid has it?”
Soon, we are laughing as he tells of the magical experience of swimming with dolphins, or in his case, being pushed of a boat and while trying not to drown, he watched as the dolphins appeared to mock him, before swimming off on their merry way.
Asking the audience if anyone has swum with dolphins leads to all hell breaking loose, the first person to shout out yes turns out to just be enthusiastic, the second has merely seen dolphins and the third swam with them at Flamingo Land. Mr. Bailey has not heard of Flamingo Land and at first hears it as Ringo Land, and proceeds to demonstrate his vision of a Ringo Starr theme park. Then he finally gets the name, he queries first “What’s the main attraction there then?” then “What are Flamingo doing in Yorkshire?”
Using the evidence he has gathered, he concludes that Flamingo Land is some sort of bizarre Yorkshire conspiracy, and that people from Somerset aren’t allowed to know about it.
Bill, and we are on first name terms with him by this time, then attempts to justify the Christian belief in the Holy Trinity, “So there’s one God, but there’s three, but these three make up the one God, but all three are omnipotent, but without the others you don’t have a completely omnipotent God…..” he tails off, before informing us of how the faiths react to the doctrine, Catholics say “ Accept it, stop asking questions.” Protestants say “Read the Bible, it will all make sense.” Muslims “I don’t know.” and Sikhs “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
He ends with his music, firstly “Drum and Bush” and mix of the quotation of George W. Bush and drum and base rhythms, during which he does a series of mini-dances, finishing exhausted, but following a cry of “Again!” from the audience he says he’s not here to entertain us. Before dancing round the stage crying “Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance.” He then turns the national anthem into a rendition of “Zip a Dee Doo Dah” and singing “Three times a lady” in German.
He finished by vowing to find Flamingo Land and telling his third joke of the night, involving God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit walking into a bar, with the concluding line “It’s almost as if the whole thing never happened!” the stage darkens and he’s gone.